i just went to the CVS and got my flu shot. when i arrived at the CVS, i was happy to see they were administering the shots in the middle of the store. i was happy because i knew people would be able to see me getting my shot, which meant that those people would feel safe being around me, knowing they couldn't possibly get the flu. i was next to get my shot when a very large woman holding two very large dutch looking twin boys approached me.
the very large woman and her dutch twins stared at me for what felt like my entire life, so much so that i was wondering if they were actually there and if anyone else in the store could see them. finally the very large woman opened her mouth and said, "you know those shots are a hoax right?" i replied, "no sorry i don't smoke." and then she said, "what?" and i said "what?" she finally repeated herself saying, "no, i said, you know those shots are a hoax right?"
just as the very large woman finished repeating herself, doctor Chris told me it was my turn for my shot. the very large woman and her dutch children stood over me in the middle of the CVS as she watched me get my shot. she continued to say things like, "i hope you don't plan on having children because they'll come out screwed up now" and "congratulations you now have a tracking device in you."
while doctor Chris had the needle in my arm, he explained there might be some soreness for the day. the very large woman interrupted doctor Chris and said, "the soreness is the tracking device making its way through your bloodstream." up until this point doctor Chris had kept his cool, but this is the straw that broke the camel's back. doctor Chris turned to the woman and said, "ma'am, i know you're not a doctor because a doctor would never say something so asinine, but if you want to spend your time advising people with false information, then i suggest you study medicine for eight years first."
at this point, people at the CVS began filming the situation and the flu shot needle was still in my arm. i asked doctor Chris if i should take the needle out, but he seemed too distracted by the very large woman saying she was going to "sue him for everything he had." i decided to take the needle out on my own and walk out of the CVS.
i'm not entirely sure if i have the flu shot in me or if i have more than i should, but oh boy am i feeling weird.
